When a second child arrives

Your first child is two, three, four years old. The desire to enlarge the family is becoming stronger. If some parents keep this secret desire until it materializes, others will be tempted to share it with their child. Even, to involve him fully in the ultimate decision. But if one can ask the elder what he wants, it is not to him that the last word comes back. "We can exchange on the desire, but we must not give the child the impression that it is he who chooses," warns Elisabeth Darchis. Everyone stays in his place. A yes or no is structuring for the child; to let him decide between the yes or the no would be on the contrary overburden him with a heavy responsibility.

Nausea, fatigue, sometimes even a small belly belly: the first signs of pregnancy are installed. When to tell your elder about this pregnancy? "It all depends on the age of the child, his character," says Elisabeth Darchis. But also, parents, and their willingness to announce more or less early the news to the entourage. However, it is best to wait for the first ultrasound to be sure the baby is fine. A young child for whom long months can seem an eternity, we can wait a little longer. Unless he senses that "something" is happening. "To tell him that he is wrong would be harmful and disrupt his relationship to reality," warns the psychologist. And when the time comes, do not announce the news between two doors.


What word to use to announce the news? There is no magic formula, but a state of mind to keep in mind: positive. "You have to give your child the happiness of having a brother or a sister, the richness of having a sibling," says the psychologist. Then the words will flow naturally to announce this "good" news - not to justify or apologize, as a parent, for having a second child. Because the child, true "sponge" is used to say, may feel the anxiety - that of parents - lurking under this type of speech clearing.

Never say these 5 sentences to a pregnant woman!

Being pregnant is not only beautiful, but can sometimes be quite exhausting. And not just because of the physical changes, no: Some women also suffer at this time under the absolutely annoying statements and questions that they get to hear from some people.You should definitely save these five, if you talk to a pregnant woman - she really can not hear them anymore:

1. "Your stomach is small / big!"
The thing is: Pregnancy affects every woman's body differently. Some may look bullish in the second trimester, while others may last a few weeks before birth until you see the baby bump (see this exciting case !). A comment about a supposedly too small or big belly is not only annoying, but also causes the mother unnecessary worries, if everything is in order with her and her child.

2. "Was that planned?"
You should also save this unpleasant question. If it is a wishful child, it will surely tell the expectant mum proudly. And if not ... then you should not embarrass her.

3. "The birth was hell with me!"
You've already had a baby yourself and still remember the birth with pain? Keep those unsolicited horror stories for you. A pregnant woman is well aware that the birth is no picnic, but she gives thanks to bloody episiotomy and complication stories.

4. "Now sleep again, once the baby is there, it's over ..."
In addition to the fact that it is already difficult to sleep during pregnancy, such advice is quite superfluous.

5. "May I touch it?"

Phew! To tease the babybab unasked is bad, ask for it and then just hit it like that. Anyway, you should think over the question again. The belly of a pregnant woman is finally particularly sensitive at this time and the maternal instinct cries inside many women "DO NOT BUTT!" Of course, they can understand the curiosity of friends and family, anyway, you should rather wait to see if the expectant mom touching hands allowed.